矛盾的平瀏海

Dec is a month to review n look back to  New people new things new place always gives attention to me I think this is my personality  I feel like I can easily feel overwhelmed  I met new friends It is juz that simple New friends that I had a total diff life compare to mine Seen many diff places & countries  Had many friends from diff countries  Well not to compare  My life is good too I have a good companion good friends around Get to see & at least get to experience travel solo  Talk n meet new people from diff countries Yea I think at least I did it before I’m glad for everything that I’ve gone through  From my past till now For whatever I have rn I’m blessed  And I’m grateful for being ME Just being me, the way I like myself the way I will b

It's getting more worst after then I guess is because C is too pro and too big in the art industry when I look at myself I feel like a potato.. a real tiny one of course I know that he's doing completely diff art way that I am but he's doing so so well that makes me feel so bad to myself and feel like what am I doing now  what am I to meet him for I got nothing good to share to him.. I mean like nothing much abt the art scene that I can share I don't even have much friends who are still working in this art scene kind of lost sometimes didn't even know what to do to sustain I know I have to keep on creating art that's what I know don't expect anything but keep on practice on my work first, at least for now sometime I feel like is it the right time or right thing to meet him? girls thing.. we think a lot I feels like I some how given him some disappointment.. shit on what im not sure maybe im not a full time artist? or I dont hv much experience in the art scen...

Talking about this new friend that I just met recently he's an officially full time artist I guess, maybe what he showing online is all about his art  He is C tbh I know him bcz of Nk C had an exhibition before at kl that he invite Nk to play for his opening that time was also a bad timing, but im manage to go a day before the opening in a very short time before I head back PG I don't know much of a 3D artist but he had such an amazing work ngl consider one of the very rare 3D artist in Malaysia that had so many exhibition before and also he's work has been globally exhibit at many other countries as well tbh looking at him im like a potato don't even feel myself as an artist anyway but he's friendly anyway gives me a little relieve when he came in to find me and talk to me yea, he had a whole month exhibition at Hin bus anyway hinbus even got a new room for him to showcasing his work I don't even know that's a room like that before maybe it use to b a cafe?...

Been listening to some podcast recently that was one from Jayshetty & Stephan  the topic is about how to know that person is it "the one" the topic is really interesting but what I found out when Im listening to it most of those are the worst side from how I feel and see of my relationship with J rn although I already know all those facts and also I can see we both are trying hard to be the best for each other but still at some point I don't really feel he's "the one" Ive been too naive before when I deal to relationship this part don't even know what I actually want and what I should beware of  don't even listen to my own voice deep inside then now I can say everything is too late I should spend more time to get to know one person more first before I step into a relationship i should know myself better  I should notice this and that and so many things earlier and tell myself I don't have to waste my time for being extra patient to this perso...

It’s been half of 2024 now So many things happened & I did live my life the fullest Bcz I did spend most of my time with friends, meeting new ppl out there Trying new things new people  Had many chance to meet new ppl during those past months Even now too I used to not so into socialise  But now since I was getting closer to G  I felt like it’s not a bad thing at all  She kind of like open up my E personality  Also bring back my own confidence self  It’s good u know I should walk out and get to explore more in a way to improve my social skill Get to improve my English speaking & so on… Not to think abt what is the purpose or any benefit that I can gain from these ppl But just hang out and talk to new ppl that’s it Again I felt like this is kind of a changes of a decade of me After T I’m still feel like there’s smthing open up for me  Well so far I feel good anyhow It feels not bad I’ve learned to drive better these days Got more confident to vo...

看了一系列的NPR tiny desk 喜欢看他们所有的band setting 他们拍摄的空间 拍摄灯光全部都好好哦…… 而且能强烈感觉到那种live一起玩音乐的那种热情的感觉 不只视觉看了很享受 从他们音乐里也感受到了那种愉悦感 真的很喜欢这类型的节目 好喜欢！！ 刷了下xhs 一打开就看见了今天的标题 “更高处见，或再也不见” 这句话直接刺中我 也给了我不少力量 努力起来吧 把自己变更好 才是最最最重要的不是吗？ 我也好多东西想继续做得更好的 想把画做得更好 想在音乐领域的表现更好 想变成个更出色的女人 这其实才是我真正想要的未来 何必再热脸贴冷屁股呢 我们更高处见 或再也不见吧

今天梦见你了 真实的场景 真实那个你的长相 我看你的角度 你的酒窝 你明显的jaw line 我们自然的聊天 说什么不知道 但都有说有笑 我们肩并肩就坐在那里聊了很久 没什么特别的场景 但是在个半户外的地方吧